It Pays to say No

Today I was invited over to my good neighbour and friend's house for a playdate and tea. But I did something really hard for me and said "No". When I first heard the message of the invitation, my response was, "Oh,'s nice to be invited...I'll go". Fortunately, I didn't phone back right away and when I did I'd had some time to think it through.

You see, yesterday, I had a really down day after getting back from a morning meeting. I'd had a (wonderful) dance practice on Monday, a bunch of college kids over for a movie late Tuesday night after being home with the kids by myself much of the day and a noon meeting with a friend, and then a planning session across town on Wednesday morning which I brought both kids to. And no naps for me all week. The inner part of me was crying out for solitude and puttering around and my body was in desperate need of rest.

But you wouldn't believe how hard it was for me to go through with the decline. I felt like I was letting her down, I doubted my decision, and I almost gave in. Especially when she mentioned how much she just needed to socialize with someone after being cooped up all week. But I did it!

And God rewarded me in so many ways. Rod was working all day, so it was just me and the kids. Some might think that would be stressful, but it's often freeing just to take the day as it comes. For much of the morning I felt as if I should be starting a stew since the meat was sitting in the fridge. But I didn't. I should've had a bath, but it didn't really work out. Jacob and I finished off some tuna and started a can of beans. Then he had a peanut butter sandwich. We were done our lunch shortly after 12:00, so even when our nap prep got interrupted by Rachel, it was not a big deal. By about 12:50 we were all sleeping and at 2:40 I felt so much better!

So, eventually I decided to make some lentil soup. Soup-making is always extremely therapeutic for me once I get started. It took quite some time to chop the onions and carrots and celery with all the interruptions, but the soup was ready by 6:30...a bit later than I'd hoped, but still okay. I decided to chop my potatoes and carrots for tomorrow's stew and realized I could probably invite someone over to share it with us. I decided on none other than the same neighbour I had to say no to. Turns out she didn't feel like making supper tomorrow so had planned to go for pizza, but is now coming over instead.

My kitchen remains a huge mess, but I have most of the day to deal with it. I love the peace inside. Thanks, God, for helping me to say no in order to say yes to my needs. I love you!


flowerlady said...

Hmmmmm. I think you hit a good point. I rarely say No and am often playing the marytr in the end because I'm so drained. I, too, am a person who needs solitude, quiet space and it rarely happens. And when it does, I simply fill it up with the stuff that is screaming at me to get done. Probably not the best thing to do for me or my kids. They need a nice mommy not a screaming crazy woman!!

Stephanie said...

That's so important and so awesome that you were able to say no yesterday. One simple word can either make or break your day. I'm happy that you had the strength to say no and do what you needed to do! Congrats! Isn't God cool the way He works it out in the end - now you're blessing your neighbor/friend and you got to be at home, sleep and take care of yourself! Bless you, Sonya! You're a gem!

kristi said...

Good job! It is so important to be able to say no and find balance! I love to see people grow in that ability! .....except my husband when he's saying no to what I want to do!

The Hayes Family said...

Good on ya for taking care of you. I've been doing that alot this past week too and it feels great. Sounds like you've had a great day.