It is 6:30 and I find myself in a place I've never been before. My son is already asleep in bed! This week he has missed his nap four times out of six. Those nights he still only got to bed at 8:30 or 9:30. He has this ability to just keep going and I often just get doing stuff. Plus, he has never been the longest of sleepers so I've been kind of afraid of putting him to bed earlier because I assume it will mean he just wakes up more often (probably flawed thinking, but certainly deeply engrained). Anyways, after skipping his nap today (which ended up being not too bad because he let me lie down in bed anyways), he asked me to put on my CD after supper. Then he climbed into my lap and got really lazy. I put him down for a minute to put away the food and he was already in play mode, but then he hurt himself and got on my lap again. I decided to bring him to bed and get his PJ's on even though it was a ludicrous 6:20 p.m. By the time I got him upstairs and laid down to change his diaper, he was asleep!! And stayed asleep as I changed him and put his PJ bottoms on. It's just too bad Rod isn't here to enjoy the evening with me.

So I said to myself, this calls for a blog entry. I was only going to go on my Mom's group blog, but then it didn't seem to work, so here I am. These days there is a lot on my "to do" list with a baby coming in six weeks. I don't know how I'll get it all done. Actually, I know that I won't. There's just no way anyone can suddenly change their ways and become an efficient taskmaster, even with the nesting instinct kicking in. Besides, one of my big goals is to spend more time stoking the fires of my marriage. It has been left to smolder much too often in the busyness of life. Unfortunately, this has still been more of an ideal than a reality. Rod has a lot on his plate too, and neither of us seems to be great at planning time together. A regular date night? What's that? Energy for intimacy? It's a stretch. But we're trying and we're talking. I just really hope we can establish a deeper, more solid relational level before our lives get thrown completely out of kilter again.

What else am I up to these days? I just recorded a bit of a demo recently of eight songs that I wrote over the last 12 years. Technically, I've written two others, but they were co-written and I actually completely forgot about the one. There was not a lot of time to do it in, but my brother and I managed to pull it off. I came away thinking I'm not too shabby a singer/songwriter. And now I just have a more intense desire to share my music, which has always been a goal which until now has remained unmet. Only one of the songs is a worship/praise song, so I'm not sure how I could use my music in church unless they got more into "incidental music", but who knows. But I could see doing a bunch of them at my Mom's group possibly. It's always a little intimidating to put yourself out there and say, "Hey, I've got these songs...could I do them here?" But I love it when (my) music touches people. I've been through some pretty major life experiences and God has given me songs during them: songs of hope and peace and love and trust. And songs about who God is.

I'm also at the cusp of being discipled and discipling. This is definitely a new venture, but one I feel strongly God is leading me to. More on that as it develops.

Well, I really really should clean up my kitchen. I've created a "happy kitchen--happy heart" club for myself and yesterday was one of the first times that I've left my kitchen a mess overnight and as per usual, that still has not been corrected. I baked cookies and that kind of zapped me and created more dishes than normal. Anyways, the happy kitchen--happy heart program is quite simple: if, at the end of the day, my dishes are washed, table and counters clear, and floor free of toys etc., (and swept maybe even), I am happy. So, I get to put a happy face on my calendar. Once I've acquired enough happy faces in a row, I can buy myself flowers. Now this is where it breaks down a little. I still haven't decided how many happy faces are sufficient, so I haven't rewarded myself yet. This could be my downfall...Should it be two weeks only? With one day grace? I thought three weeks at first, but I don't want to get too discouraged. I about 17 days with one day grace? Sounds good. Anyone want to join me? You can pick any reward you want. Whatever gives you joy. The keys to my success, if you want to know, are trying to do the dishes at least twice a day if not after every meal and forcing myself to do it before getting distracted by other things. For some people this is just common sense, but for a random/relational person, this takes much effort.

Well, it's 7:00 now. I really shouldn't waste the entire evening on the computer. Ta ta for now.


Jude said...

It seems no one has a clue what to do with songs that aren't praise and worship. I've written more P&W in the last while but I love some of my other songs and it doesn't seem like they have a place in the church - local or universal.

What's your schedule like next week? Still want to jam.

Lynne said...

I enjoy reading your blog. You should do it more often. I also like your "Happy Heart" plan. I love flowers but I just feel it should be my husbands responsibility to buy them for me but that's just wrong thinking - if I want them and I know they'd make me happy about my home, I should just do it. Safeway has great specials on flowers. When will any of us be able to hear your songs?

Erica said...

Hi Sonya! First visit to your journal and it won't be my last! Thanks for sharing the link.

flowerlady said...

Hey Sonya,

Those songs of yours are a good thing for singing 'over' people. That's what many of our songs are about, not really the congregational, sing-a-long thing. We got involved in a local group of Christian songwriters where we have opportunity to share them. Then we also participate in a concert series that our church has and then whenever God opens a door we share them. We've had to get over that thing that says what I have to share (if it comes from me) isn't good enough. That my dear girl is a lie from the pit of hell and needs to go back from whence it came. What you have is good because God gave it to you. Sing little songbird, sing.