First Things First
The past nine days since I heard a pastor speak on refusing to give ourselves permission to sin have been different. Oh, much the same, but very different. Let me explain.
I went for prayer after the message, having had enough rationalization of my behaviour and needing a change. During that time, I felt that a large part of my sinful habits centred around my attitude toward housekeeping, something God had started working on, but still felt stuck. I discerned that it had to do with some twisting of the "Mary/Martha" roles. In identifying myself with Mary, I was shunning the "uptight, too busy, task-oriented" Martha persona. But I basically was just not cleaning up if I didn't feel like it.
Lest you think this is about cleanliness, I will move on. The next day, God revealed that I was actually acting more like Martha than Mary. I was not leaving everything behind to spend time with Jesus--I was distracted by many things. And he gave me a mantra, which is basically a paraphrase of Matthew 6:33.
"First things first; the rest will follow". (Love the double meaning!)
To me, this meant deciding every day to have quiet time with Jesus, and more specifically, in the morning when Rachel was napping. This was strongly opposed by Jacob the first couple days, but today, it was he who agreed that I should have a quiet time.
The result has been more focus, less worry, and a quiet contentment in my heart. God's been teaching me about obedience, showing me what to do in the day, and giving me peace about things that get left undone. It hasn't been easy...I mean, the commitment and the changes haven't always felt easy to make. But the time with Jesus isn't hard. It's wonderful!