A New Thing
God is doing a new thing in my family. I just spent the week-end with my Dad's side of the family, celebrating the life of my Grandma and starting to process her death. As part of the funeral service any cousins who wanted to sang Matt Redman's "Blessed Be Your Name". We happen to have some talented and experienced band players/worship leaders/vocalists and it rocked!
Now we're all pumped about doing something more together in that vein. And some cool ideas have been put out there. Besides that, it seems like people's guards are coming down and a desire to be with and share with each other is growing. And for the first time, we have all have everyone's email addresses. It is truly awesome! Thank you God for what you're doing. Draw us all closer to you and each other. Amen!
Friday
Home with Jesus and Grandpa
On Wednesday at 12:30 my Grandma's body finally wore out and she left for heaven. The funeral is on Monday. Here are some things I wrote about her:
Grandma
As I sit in my comfy chair with the baby blanket on my lap that Grandma started, my thoughts turn to memories of her.
I think of the soft blue and white afghan she made me—how it saw me through Bible School, college, a bad relationship, my many moves after getting married, and now how it keeps my son cozy.
I remember all the aunties bustling around in the kitchen getting Christmas dinner ready and filing past to get our food after singing the Doxology in four-part harmony. I remember being in awe of the cousins that got to sleep on one of several pull-out couches and the time I actually got to sleep on one (maybe for a piano or theory exam scheduled too early in the morning?)
I think of all the Christmas gifts received in triplicate by Tennille, Carla and I: rocking chairs, teddy bears, lamps, trunks, cookie jars…and how thankful I am she gave up on the electric shaver idea before she got to us. I think of Barbie doll clothes in the train case behind the big wet bar that was never really utilized as such, the goofy ostrich marionette, the fuzzy fur rug, the fake fire log, and the endless hours of TV tennis/handball/hockey (bleep, bleep b-bleep, aw!) I remember getting to take home a crocheted bell or snowflake from the Christmas tree, playing piano with Carla or Neysa or Tennille (or all of them!) for the Christmas carols, playing my instrument in the “band”, having one of those crunchy, sugary snowflake cookies after faspa, going sledding, eating turtles and Pot of Gold chocolates and getting in the coldish car to go home…all tired and excited.
I remember her black glass table and the swiveling chairs us grandkids could never sit still in. I remember the bumpy green glasses and matching pitcher, and the fine dishes with chrome/black edging. I remember the fancy dome butter dish and the funny woodpecker toothpick guy.
I remember the buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken and all the spicy green coleslaw and the macaroni salad. And the wet wipes and salt packages and plastic-wrapped cutlery. What a treat that was!
I remember the root beer and orange floats that came from the yellow split-door fridge. And watching in anticipation as the pop was poured over the ice cream…would it spill over?
I remember having races down the stairs, sliding on our bums and occasionally going too fast. That hurt! I remember the smooth stone-like grey floor at the bottom. I remember the little toilet paper dollies and the ever-present Reader’s Digest in the bathrooms. And all the different fuzzy bath mat and curtain sets. They were always so plush and fancy!
I remember playing in the backyard with an orangey-yellow ball with the red hexagons (?) and green(?) trim and having it go over the fence into the back alley and having someone venture back there with the galvanized garbage cans on a shelf, and thinking how funny cities are. And the big deck with the air conditioner underneath that kept getting crushed rock dropped into it. And the clothes-line/merry-go-round, and the little tiny underground sprinklers. And the garden shed that resembled a miniature barn. I remember the arches, all stuccoed in front of the brown stained wood with the plants hanging in baskets. I remember walks to Elmwood Park, going across the “scary” (suspension) bridge, feeling a bit lost at times, but following the older kids.
I remember watching Wheel of Fortune with Grandma. I was always amazed at all the shows she watched in an afternoon. There was always a crossword/search-a-word? On the go.
I remember her Chrysler New Yorker with the off-white leather seats fuzzy seat covers and how she drove all her friends around to go shopping or to church or to birthday parties. I remember her talking about Pete Yahnke’s (sp?) or Leila Jordahl or her Bible studies. I always admired her for the way she cared about her neighbours and their salvation.
I remember her hallways, always lined with the latest photos of her grandkids and how, on the 29th, she talked about getting one of the ladies at the home to help put up the new pictures we gave her.
I remember, during a period of writing Grandma on and off sometime after high school, receiving one of her notes with her spidery handwriting asking me some pointed questions about boys or something equally surprising. I was caught a little off guard by her frank, but humorous comments. I wish I knew where I put that letter (if I did indeed keep it). It was one of those rare moments of true connection, where the bond seems more like friendship than a grandparent/child relationship.
One other moment I’m especially fond of was when I announced to her that I was pregnant. (This was when she was in Kyle). She asked me how I was feeling—whether I had morning sickness or anything. When I said I felt great, she said, “Good girl…I didn’t either. The only thing that bothered me was cooking tomatoes.” Imagine my reaction when I got a bit nauseous while making spaghetti sauce. It was like a bonding moment: here, fifty years later or so, history was repeating itself!
I will always remember Grandma as a strong-minded, hard-working, practical woman with a love for her family and friends, her neighbours, the needy, and the lost. So glad you’re finally in heaven with Jesus and Grandpa!
On Wednesday at 12:30 my Grandma's body finally wore out and she left for heaven. The funeral is on Monday. Here are some things I wrote about her:
Grandma
As I sit in my comfy chair with the baby blanket on my lap that Grandma started, my thoughts turn to memories of her.
I think of the soft blue and white afghan she made me—how it saw me through Bible School, college, a bad relationship, my many moves after getting married, and now how it keeps my son cozy.
I remember all the aunties bustling around in the kitchen getting Christmas dinner ready and filing past to get our food after singing the Doxology in four-part harmony. I remember being in awe of the cousins that got to sleep on one of several pull-out couches and the time I actually got to sleep on one (maybe for a piano or theory exam scheduled too early in the morning?)
I think of all the Christmas gifts received in triplicate by Tennille, Carla and I: rocking chairs, teddy bears, lamps, trunks, cookie jars…and how thankful I am she gave up on the electric shaver idea before she got to us. I think of Barbie doll clothes in the train case behind the big wet bar that was never really utilized as such, the goofy ostrich marionette, the fuzzy fur rug, the fake fire log, and the endless hours of TV tennis/handball/hockey (bleep, bleep b-bleep, aw!) I remember getting to take home a crocheted bell or snowflake from the Christmas tree, playing piano with Carla or Neysa or Tennille (or all of them!) for the Christmas carols, playing my instrument in the “band”, having one of those crunchy, sugary snowflake cookies after faspa, going sledding, eating turtles and Pot of Gold chocolates and getting in the coldish car to go home…all tired and excited.
I remember her black glass table and the swiveling chairs us grandkids could never sit still in. I remember the bumpy green glasses and matching pitcher, and the fine dishes with chrome/black edging. I remember the fancy dome butter dish and the funny woodpecker toothpick guy.
I remember the buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken and all the spicy green coleslaw and the macaroni salad. And the wet wipes and salt packages and plastic-wrapped cutlery. What a treat that was!
I remember the root beer and orange floats that came from the yellow split-door fridge. And watching in anticipation as the pop was poured over the ice cream…would it spill over?
I remember having races down the stairs, sliding on our bums and occasionally going too fast. That hurt! I remember the smooth stone-like grey floor at the bottom. I remember the little toilet paper dollies and the ever-present Reader’s Digest in the bathrooms. And all the different fuzzy bath mat and curtain sets. They were always so plush and fancy!
I remember playing in the backyard with an orangey-yellow ball with the red hexagons (?) and green(?) trim and having it go over the fence into the back alley and having someone venture back there with the galvanized garbage cans on a shelf, and thinking how funny cities are. And the big deck with the air conditioner underneath that kept getting crushed rock dropped into it. And the clothes-line/merry-go-round, and the little tiny underground sprinklers. And the garden shed that resembled a miniature barn. I remember the arches, all stuccoed in front of the brown stained wood with the plants hanging in baskets. I remember walks to Elmwood Park, going across the “scary” (suspension) bridge, feeling a bit lost at times, but following the older kids.
I remember watching Wheel of Fortune with Grandma. I was always amazed at all the shows she watched in an afternoon. There was always a crossword/search-a-word? On the go.
I remember her Chrysler New Yorker with the off-white leather seats fuzzy seat covers and how she drove all her friends around to go shopping or to church or to birthday parties. I remember her talking about Pete Yahnke’s (sp?) or Leila Jordahl or her Bible studies. I always admired her for the way she cared about her neighbours and their salvation.
I remember her hallways, always lined with the latest photos of her grandkids and how, on the 29th, she talked about getting one of the ladies at the home to help put up the new pictures we gave her.
I remember, during a period of writing Grandma on and off sometime after high school, receiving one of her notes with her spidery handwriting asking me some pointed questions about boys or something equally surprising. I was caught a little off guard by her frank, but humorous comments. I wish I knew where I put that letter (if I did indeed keep it). It was one of those rare moments of true connection, where the bond seems more like friendship than a grandparent/child relationship.
One other moment I’m especially fond of was when I announced to her that I was pregnant. (This was when she was in Kyle). She asked me how I was feeling—whether I had morning sickness or anything. When I said I felt great, she said, “Good girl…I didn’t either. The only thing that bothered me was cooking tomatoes.” Imagine my reaction when I got a bit nauseous while making spaghetti sauce. It was like a bonding moment: here, fifty years later or so, history was repeating itself!
I will always remember Grandma as a strong-minded, hard-working, practical woman with a love for her family and friends, her neighbours, the needy, and the lost. So glad you’re finally in heaven with Jesus and Grandpa!
Monday
Song to share:
I think I started this song sometime before Christmas. It's a bit of where I've been in the last year and what I'm coming out of. Kinda freeform. Love to share the music somehow, but this will have to do for now.
I Want More
I am so blessed
I have everything I need
Why do I feel empty inside?
I want more.
I feel so numb half the time
I don't feel you.
I don't know how I feel.
Feels like I've been this way for too long.
I want to break out.
I want you to break in.
And move...
Come and move in my heart.
I need you, I need you
I want you today...
More of you.
More of you in my life.
More peace
More joy
More hope in my life.
More love
More faith
More power.
I am so blessed
I have everything I need
What I really need is you in my life.
I want more.
Words and Music by Sonya Braun, 2005
I think I started this song sometime before Christmas. It's a bit of where I've been in the last year and what I'm coming out of. Kinda freeform. Love to share the music somehow, but this will have to do for now.
I Want More
I am so blessed
I have everything I need
Why do I feel empty inside?
I want more.
I feel so numb half the time
I don't feel you.
I don't know how I feel.
Feels like I've been this way for too long.
I want to break out.
I want you to break in.
And move...
Come and move in my heart.
I need you, I need you
I want you today...
More of you.
More of you in my life.
More peace
More joy
More hope in my life.
More love
More faith
More power.
I am so blessed
I have everything I need
What I really need is you in my life.
I want more.
Words and Music by Sonya Braun, 2005
Thursday
It Pays to say No
Today I was invited over to my good neighbour and friend's house for a playdate and tea. But I did something really hard for me and said "No". When I first heard the message of the invitation, my response was, "Oh, great...it's nice to be invited...I'll go". Fortunately, I didn't phone back right away and when I did I'd had some time to think it through.
You see, yesterday, I had a really down day after getting back from a morning meeting. I'd had a (wonderful) dance practice on Monday, a bunch of college kids over for a movie late Tuesday night after being home with the kids by myself much of the day and a noon meeting with a friend, and then a planning session across town on Wednesday morning which I brought both kids to. And no naps for me all week. The inner part of me was crying out for solitude and puttering around and my body was in desperate need of rest.
But you wouldn't believe how hard it was for me to go through with the decline. I felt like I was letting her down, I doubted my decision, and I almost gave in. Especially when she mentioned how much she just needed to socialize with someone after being cooped up all week. But I did it!
And God rewarded me in so many ways. Rod was working all day, so it was just me and the kids. Some might think that would be stressful, but it's often freeing just to take the day as it comes. For much of the morning I felt as if I should be starting a stew since the meat was sitting in the fridge. But I didn't. I should've had a bath, but it didn't really work out. Jacob and I finished off some tuna and started a can of beans. Then he had a peanut butter sandwich. We were done our lunch shortly after 12:00, so even when our nap prep got interrupted by Rachel, it was not a big deal. By about 12:50 we were all sleeping and at 2:40 I felt so much better!
So, eventually I decided to make some lentil soup. Soup-making is always extremely therapeutic for me once I get started. It took quite some time to chop the onions and carrots and celery with all the interruptions, but the soup was ready by 6:30...a bit later than I'd hoped, but still okay. I decided to chop my potatoes and carrots for tomorrow's stew and realized I could probably invite someone over to share it with us. I decided on none other than the same neighbour I had to say no to. Turns out she didn't feel like making supper tomorrow so had planned to go for pizza, but is now coming over instead.
My kitchen remains a huge mess, but I have most of the day to deal with it. I love the peace inside. Thanks, God, for helping me to say no in order to say yes to my needs. I love you!
Today I was invited over to my good neighbour and friend's house for a playdate and tea. But I did something really hard for me and said "No". When I first heard the message of the invitation, my response was, "Oh, great...it's nice to be invited...I'll go". Fortunately, I didn't phone back right away and when I did I'd had some time to think it through.
You see, yesterday, I had a really down day after getting back from a morning meeting. I'd had a (wonderful) dance practice on Monday, a bunch of college kids over for a movie late Tuesday night after being home with the kids by myself much of the day and a noon meeting with a friend, and then a planning session across town on Wednesday morning which I brought both kids to. And no naps for me all week. The inner part of me was crying out for solitude and puttering around and my body was in desperate need of rest.
But you wouldn't believe how hard it was for me to go through with the decline. I felt like I was letting her down, I doubted my decision, and I almost gave in. Especially when she mentioned how much she just needed to socialize with someone after being cooped up all week. But I did it!
And God rewarded me in so many ways. Rod was working all day, so it was just me and the kids. Some might think that would be stressful, but it's often freeing just to take the day as it comes. For much of the morning I felt as if I should be starting a stew since the meat was sitting in the fridge. But I didn't. I should've had a bath, but it didn't really work out. Jacob and I finished off some tuna and started a can of beans. Then he had a peanut butter sandwich. We were done our lunch shortly after 12:00, so even when our nap prep got interrupted by Rachel, it was not a big deal. By about 12:50 we were all sleeping and at 2:40 I felt so much better!
So, eventually I decided to make some lentil soup. Soup-making is always extremely therapeutic for me once I get started. It took quite some time to chop the onions and carrots and celery with all the interruptions, but the soup was ready by 6:30...a bit later than I'd hoped, but still okay. I decided to chop my potatoes and carrots for tomorrow's stew and realized I could probably invite someone over to share it with us. I decided on none other than the same neighbour I had to say no to. Turns out she didn't feel like making supper tomorrow so had planned to go for pizza, but is now coming over instead.
My kitchen remains a huge mess, but I have most of the day to deal with it. I love the peace inside. Thanks, God, for helping me to say no in order to say yes to my needs. I love you!
Monday
It's a New Year!
Maybe I'm a bit slow, but I've been preoccupied with sickness. I love a fresh start. Rachel's getting out of the newborn phase and now I can start to develop some new habits and routines. I'm asking God for a new attitude about structure and neatness. Somewhere along the line I've equated that with dull, boring, and no fun. But beauty and order are what God's about. And creativity.
So God, do a new thing in me. Create in me a clean heart...and around me a clean house, that the most precious people in my life may enjoy living here and that I may enjoy a guilt-free, joy-filled spirit. Amen. (I trust that this will only bring me more freedom and creativity and not less).
Maybe I'm a bit slow, but I've been preoccupied with sickness. I love a fresh start. Rachel's getting out of the newborn phase and now I can start to develop some new habits and routines. I'm asking God for a new attitude about structure and neatness. Somewhere along the line I've equated that with dull, boring, and no fun. But beauty and order are what God's about. And creativity.
So God, do a new thing in me. Create in me a clean heart...and around me a clean house, that the most precious people in my life may enjoy living here and that I may enjoy a guilt-free, joy-filled spirit. Amen. (I trust that this will only bring me more freedom and creativity and not less).
Thursday
Nasty
Well, I am now officially a parent. Last night at 1:30 I got my certification in vomitus removal with honours in "Hugging your child when they're covered in throw-up".
Rod and I both had it...me on the trip home (yeah, really nice) and Rod after we got home (all night long). We thought Jacob was only going to have diarrhea, but I guess not. He'd been eating mostly Mr. Noodles and rice and crackers and dry toast in an attempt to alleviate it and it was getting better. I tried getting some yogurt into him last night and I think that's what did it. So I was up from 1:00 until 4:30 and slept fitfully with him until 7:30 or 8:00. I had a short nap this afternoon and actually feel okay right now.
Changing the subject, I had the joy of getting back into dance a bit at church. God seemed to be telling me to focus on that more...to get some more freedom in this area. It was fun to cut loose a little and also to do a bit more learning. I'm looking forward to more.
Glad the holidays are over. Hoping that this flu bug will leave our home very soon. This year, I hope to declutter other stuff, too and make room for beauty. That sounds like a good idea for my life, come to think of it. Rod and I are just beginning to read "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby. I love how powerful the Scriptures are that he cites. The Word of God has been rather dull to me for quite awhile. So in the next six weeks, we hope to finish it. This will be quite a test for us, as we often have good ideas but don't persist with them to the end.
Heard a funny saying today. Here's the second half of it: "If you're going through hell, don't stop". Have a great day!
Well, I am now officially a parent. Last night at 1:30 I got my certification in vomitus removal with honours in "Hugging your child when they're covered in throw-up".
Rod and I both had it...me on the trip home (yeah, really nice) and Rod after we got home (all night long). We thought Jacob was only going to have diarrhea, but I guess not. He'd been eating mostly Mr. Noodles and rice and crackers and dry toast in an attempt to alleviate it and it was getting better. I tried getting some yogurt into him last night and I think that's what did it. So I was up from 1:00 until 4:30 and slept fitfully with him until 7:30 or 8:00. I had a short nap this afternoon and actually feel okay right now.
Changing the subject, I had the joy of getting back into dance a bit at church. God seemed to be telling me to focus on that more...to get some more freedom in this area. It was fun to cut loose a little and also to do a bit more learning. I'm looking forward to more.
Glad the holidays are over. Hoping that this flu bug will leave our home very soon. This year, I hope to declutter other stuff, too and make room for beauty. That sounds like a good idea for my life, come to think of it. Rod and I are just beginning to read "Experiencing God" by Henry Blackaby. I love how powerful the Scriptures are that he cites. The Word of God has been rather dull to me for quite awhile. So in the next six weeks, we hope to finish it. This will be quite a test for us, as we often have good ideas but don't persist with them to the end.
Heard a funny saying today. Here's the second half of it: "If you're going through hell, don't stop". Have a great day!
