Do You Need a Hug?
I'm finally getting the hang of this parenting tool my husband regularly employs: the power of the hug. Whenever Jacob has been out of control or sad or recently disciplined or hurt, the question comes, "Do you need a hug?" The answer is inevitably "yes", a hug is shared, and connection is made. And better spirits/behaviour usually follow. There is a feeling of being understood and accepted even when feeling or acting less than lovely.
This morning I was mostly at loggerheads with my new nephew. Realizing that I don't have much relational history with him to balance my authority, I decided I somehow needed to have affection as my next experience with him. The opportunity soon arose as he got into trouble with his cousins and grandma and came upstairs. I asked him, "Do you need a hug?" The rest is history...he was a transformed boy. The neat thing was, Jacob joined in the hugging and his compassion for his cousin grew and when asked if he would share his toy which had previously caused them both grief, he willingly said "yes".
I think in our adult relationships, we could probably stand to use this idea too. We have our unmet expectations and power struggles and criticisms and hurts from each other. Maybe we just need to say in the heat of the moment, "Do you need a hug?" And watch what happens...
Tuesday
Thursday
What do I need?
This was the question Rod posed to me as we had a rare hour to just sit and chat yesterday afternoon. The first thing I came up with was "mindspace". I don't know if that's term anyone uses...if not, I just made it up!
I've been realizing with more clarity that, I need time alone to think and reflect and plan. By nature, I am a responder to people more than an initiator of tasks. Being a wife and mother of two, I have plenty of opportunities to respond to the needs and wants of people. And I completely enjoy doing it. I would love to just hang out with my kids and husband and not have to worry about keeping a household going.
But there's another intrinsic part of me that needs to create and express and put thoughts together and study and write and be challenged. And I need solitude and quiet in order to do things. In fact, I've discovered that I should probably even do grocery/menu planning when there's no one around!
Anyways, my son wants to play ball with me and even though I set the timer for ten minutes so that I could finish writing this, I'm feeling distracted, so I'm just going to sign off until I can get some more "mindspace".
This was the question Rod posed to me as we had a rare hour to just sit and chat yesterday afternoon. The first thing I came up with was "mindspace". I don't know if that's term anyone uses...if not, I just made it up!
I've been realizing with more clarity that, I need time alone to think and reflect and plan. By nature, I am a responder to people more than an initiator of tasks. Being a wife and mother of two, I have plenty of opportunities to respond to the needs and wants of people. And I completely enjoy doing it. I would love to just hang out with my kids and husband and not have to worry about keeping a household going.
But there's another intrinsic part of me that needs to create and express and put thoughts together and study and write and be challenged. And I need solitude and quiet in order to do things. In fact, I've discovered that I should probably even do grocery/menu planning when there's no one around!
Anyways, my son wants to play ball with me and even though I set the timer for ten minutes so that I could finish writing this, I'm feeling distracted, so I'm just going to sign off until I can get some more "mindspace".
Tuesday
Staying Afloat
I hate this feeling of just barely keeping my head above water. It was a very common feeling during the first 18 months of Jacob's life and hits me now and then still. It's largely a result of lack of sleep and energy. This time it's a combination of sleep loss and illness. I'm so tired of being sick!!
When I get in this mode, my kitchen is the first to be neglected and I'm constantly playing catch-up trying to get it under control. At first, it is imperative that I take care of myself and that's good. But then, I get in the habit of making excuses for not cleaning up and the mess continues. Or I'll just get it under control and then I'll let it go for one supper meal and I'm sunk. (I don't have a dishwasher, so it gets bad fast). When my energy levels are borderline, I'm easily overwhelmed. Meal making and all that goes with it: buying groceries, deciding what to make, and cleaning it up just becomes this insurmountable task. And mealtimes get late and sleeping schedules get whacked out and then there's more sleep loss...
I long to have beauty and order and purpose. Some days I feel like I'm getting there, but there are so many of these other days. I want to get beyond surviving.
It's 10:00. Maybe I should start by going to bed. Good night!
I hate this feeling of just barely keeping my head above water. It was a very common feeling during the first 18 months of Jacob's life and hits me now and then still. It's largely a result of lack of sleep and energy. This time it's a combination of sleep loss and illness. I'm so tired of being sick!!
When I get in this mode, my kitchen is the first to be neglected and I'm constantly playing catch-up trying to get it under control. At first, it is imperative that I take care of myself and that's good. But then, I get in the habit of making excuses for not cleaning up and the mess continues. Or I'll just get it under control and then I'll let it go for one supper meal and I'm sunk. (I don't have a dishwasher, so it gets bad fast). When my energy levels are borderline, I'm easily overwhelmed. Meal making and all that goes with it: buying groceries, deciding what to make, and cleaning it up just becomes this insurmountable task. And mealtimes get late and sleeping schedules get whacked out and then there's more sleep loss...
I long to have beauty and order and purpose. Some days I feel like I'm getting there, but there are so many of these other days. I want to get beyond surviving.
It's 10:00. Maybe I should start by going to bed. Good night!
